Lonely!
There are times when being alone is a blessing! After being in a crowd or being overwhelmed by the world, being alone is a gift. But then there is the profound sense of loss I found in lonely lostness. Definitely not the blessing of quiet alone time!
We had taken Bekkah to College. I was all excited for her and knew she would be AMAZING! Moving her into her new dorm, meeting her roommate and her parents, walking the campus and watching her start this new chapter was good. Then I went home.
I walked up the stairs to her room and it was a mess. A New mess. It was the mess of what was left behind and suddenly I felt lonely lost. Who am I? What am I supposed to do now? I was stuck and the tears that flowed were grief and not very soothing to my lostness. The tears just seemed to be screaming from my heart.
I felt those same tears when we closed our churches during Covid. I still believe it was the correct decision to keep each other safe. But I remember lying on the floor of the sanctuary weeping and wondering when God would bring us back together. It was that lonely lostness that wrapped around me like layers of an onion.
As I look back, though, God always placed someone in my path to remind me I wasn’t really alone. There was someone who could help me figure out the path and hold my hand as we walked together. Those life defining moments we face are usually times when God gives us, reminds us of, the critical relationships that help us find our footing and blossom out of the loneliness.
May you be aware of those God has put in your moment to draw you into the next place; To help you blossom into the next moment. Amen
Heather Schimmel
Lyons Christian Church